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C:\\World\Crap\Kristina.exe [userpic]
Any help/input appreciated
by C:\\World\Crap\Kristina.exe (opaloctober)
at September 10th, 2009 (05:49 pm)

Ok,...so of course, most of you know that i'm planning an August 2010 or 2011 wedding for my fiance and I. Now we're starting to run into problems. Not of the wedding kind, because all of our vendors and prices have been hashed out, just nothing has been paid for except for my dress (excluding alterations)...

My fiance says he won't marry me until I hold a fulltime job for a year first. Which I don't think can happen. For about the last year, i've been on SSI disability due to mental and physical health problems, and haven't been working. I've sold Avon and done odd jobs with my virtual assisting business, but no "real" job. I'm on Medicaid, through my SSI, and i'm also on my mom's health insurance through her job until I turn 25, or until i'm married, whichever comes first. I turn 24 next month, so my coverage with her depends on our wedding date. With my medicaid and her insurance, I literally don't have to pay ANYTHING for my prescriptions, but I do have to pay for my copays, since I only use my mom's insurance for Dr. visits, I have to pay the copays for my Dr visits.

My problem is, my fiance has told me that as long as I kept the house clean, I didn't have to work, which allowed me to go to school fulltime. I'll be halfway done with my BA after 2011. I currently hold 23 credit hours, which just under classifies me as a sophmore. If my fiance told me that I didn't have to work and I'll be going to school fulltime, how does he expect me to hold a fulltime job? I'll lose my medicaid, and my SSI income.
Also, once we're married, my insurance coverage with my mom will expire, and with the job he just started about 3 weeks ago, off4ers insurance after a year, but my fiance can't afford it. And i'll have to research and get my own insurance coverage and pay for it out of pocket, and I doubt i'll be able to afford it.

I'm also really worried becuase I doubt I can HOLD a fulltime job long enough to qualify for insurance of my own, or to reach his "ultimatum" I've only been able to hold a job, full or parttime for three months. No longer.

It seems like either way I go, i'll be stuck with no insurance, and that can NOT happen. The worst thing is, he refuses to try and talk this out with me, or to help find some kind of agreement, or common ground...its like he doesn't want the wedding to happen at all. When I even mention the wedding or ask for his input he ignores me.


Posted by: LyquidPhyre (lyquidphyre)
Posted at: September 11th, 2009 12:21 am (UTC)

How long have y'all been together?

Posted by: C:\\World\Crap\Kristina.exe (opaloctober)
Posted at: September 11th, 2009 12:23 am (UTC)

we just passed the 5 year mark, our anniversary was Aug 14

Posted by: LyquidPhyre (lyquidphyre)
Posted at: September 11th, 2009 11:57 pm (UTC)

I would sit him down and ask for him to listen to you freely and ask him why he is so adamant about his views. I would even let him know that you feel like he doesn't want to get married if you think you can handle hearing something you might not want to.

Its better to figure this stuff out now before its too expensive to change it.

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